evil little girl

Fantasy =/= Reality. P.S. This is apparently news.

I was on the bus last night, half-assedly researching on my phone, when I ended up on an article (from the heyday of Fifty Shades) about some academic study on atypical fantasies. I've been on the internet since 1993, so I have a passing familiarity with those, and I was curious. As with any article about a scientific study, it was high on drama and low on actual information, but hey, I do not have high standards when my brain is boiling in my skull.

One of the findings was that women distinctly separated things they fantasized about from things they wanted to happen in reality, and gave the example of sexual submission. I kind of laughed in my head, and thought about women in my old office avidly discussing 50SOG, and moved on to the rest of the article and its oh-so-shocking conclusions (women are more faithful than men, even in fantasy; men want to have anal sex with women; the sky is blue voyeurism is a thing).

So basically I shook my head and moved on in my linkspiral.

But somehow, that percolated overnight, and I woke up this morning thinking that it explained so much. Sure, I think we can all understand why women might separate fantasy submission from reality – I have been looking since I was fifteen, and I still don't know any men IRL I'm both sexually attracted to and able to trust with that kind of power exchange – but just think for a minute about the converse conclusion, the one that was not stated outright, because of course the masculine perspective is default and we need only point out how women are weird:

Men do not separate things they fantasize about from things they want to happen in reality.

If there's no separation there, if fantasy is the same as want, as pursuit… possibly even as need, or at least the perception of need? Well, okay, there's a neat explanation of rape culture right there, but did we really need another?

What it brought into perspective for me was the struggle we have with fanworks. Not the copyright thing, I mean, but… am I dating myself by referencing the LJ drama of Strikethrough 2007? (That's like a century ago in internet years, I know.) I'm not active in fandom the way I used to be, so newer stuff is more on my periphery, but I know it still goes on, the kick/ban/block/delete of users and works – and, more frequently, criticism and shunning that can effect the same result – because of prurient content. I don't think there's been anything on that level, more recently (safe spaces in fandom having changed quite a bit) but even for historical perspective, so to speak, it's interesting.

Because what that finding tells me is that these men who ran the company that owned this platform… they were coming from a perspective where fantasy directly translates to reality. Where if you are writing or drawing Snape with underage Harry, or whatever other thing someone finds objectionable, that's what you want to actually happen – what you intend to replicate in some way with real people. Where your depiction of your mental happy-place (or intrigue-place, or whatever) is actually a declaration of intent.

Chew on that for a minute. (And then wonder how much that perspective influences the stigma about RPF.) I don't know about you, but I find that horribly fucking frightening, because… how do you even begin to change an attitude – about sexuality, about gender, about consent, hell, about fanworks or entertainment in general or even politics – when the disconnect is so fundamental? Where do you start, when you have to begin by convincing people that there's a difference between inside your head and outside?

(Order of the Phoenix and) the Half-Blood Prince

Watching OotP, my oh I am outta here moment was when Bella AK'd Sirius through the veil.

In the book, the specific spell she uses isn't stated. Hell, it's only the one before it that's described as a jet of red light as opposed to green. But the fact that it wasn't the Killing Curse was always very important to me. Important because of thematic reasons that I really can't articulate on so little sleep ramblingly took a whack at explaining last time (and let's face it, most people think I'm crazy even when I do explain), but even more fundamentally because it allowed Bellatrix Lestrange to become a three-dimensional character for me. Whatever reasons she may have had — reluctance to kill her own cousin, nostalgia for their much simpler childhood antagonism, even just enjoyment at fighting a worthy opponent — the fact that she could face off against him and not "shoot to kill" gave her humanity, for me.

And you know, that's a small thing. After a few watchings, I... got over it, I guess; I managed to file it away as simply a WTF moment. But in the theater on opening night, it was a choice that made me think, Mr. Director, sir? Mr. Screenwriter? What book were you reading, because I'm pretty sure it's not the same one I have. I had the urge, just for a second, to stand up and leave the theater.

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Oddly enough, this was the most tepid opening night show (HP or any fandom-ish variety: Star Trek, Star Wars, Serenity, etc.) I've ever been to. There was an excellent Trelawney in my row, but other than her I saw perhaps a couple dozen costumes (in a theater that sold out 2400 seats) and maybe one in ten people had on a HP T-shirt or scarf or something. There was a little more vocal response than you'd hear in a regular movie, but nothing like I was expecting. In fact the biggest collective commentary was boos and hisses for the Twilight preview, and applause when the projector cut off in the middle of it xD

I've been pretty much on the periphery of fandom for quite awhile due to RL issues. Is there really such a decline in enthusiasm? Or was it just an unhappy coincidence of venue or something?
evil little girl

Fic for BBTP!

My entry for the Bring Back the Porn Challenge:

Title: Not Envy (link to IJ, or click the cut below)
Author: janeaverage
Fandom/Pairing: Harry Potter – Harry/Bellatrix
Rating: R?
Word Count: 1,851
Summary: Petunia knows that ungrateful brat’s been in Marge’s bedroom…
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe and its characters were created by J.K. Rowling; I just use and abuse them for my own amusement. No profit is made and no infringement intended.
Highlight for Warnings: * non-consensual voyeurism, underage sex *

The Wanking Wands Award: Best Kink

The Ecstasy Award: Judge's Choice


Because We Want It So: Best Fanon Het
It's Not All. About. Harry.: Best Minor Character-Centric
Length: One-Shot

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    accomplished accomplished
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A little late to the party, but...

I really needed to do an OotP review, because I'm kind of horrified and bewildered by the number of people who think it was OMG TEH BEST THING EVAR, where usually there seem to be a goodly number of people on both ends of the spectrum where movie canon, or even proper canon, is concerned. Other than, you know, my little kinks or off-the-wall pairings, I'm not used to being in such a tiny minority in fandom. It's a strange feeling.

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    Hedwig's Theme Remix, by Advanced Potions Making
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I love my Captain.

So my mother (who is very helpful about keeping up with the intersection of fandom and reality for me) sent me an email last week to let me know that Nathan Fillion has a new show called Drive, which premiered last night. Dutifully, I went and looked at the website. My first thought was, "Wait, The Amazing Race wasn't dumb enough, so they're making a fictional version?" But I promised myself I would watch it anyway, even though (unless you count two episodes of Rome at Auntie Chris') I have not actually sat down to watch a show since... um... well before I moved into my apartment in November '05.

So 7:55, my alarm goes off, I get up from my nap and turn on the television. I watch the last few minutes of The Simpsons, expecting to find Drive equally uninteresting.

By the first commercial break, I'd decided not to order pizza for dinner because I didn't want to waste quality TV-watching time answering the door. I ATE CHEF BOYARDEE FOR THIS SHOW, PEOPLE.

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So anyway. Yes. Twas a good show. I expect all your adorable arses planted in front of the television this evening at 8/7 Central *glares menacingly about the internet*

Look ma, I can make icons!

Wow, I forgot I actually had a journal. That's kind of sad.

So snapeophile saw an old userpic I nicked from somewhere when I was using it on Yahoo, and asked if I could customize it for her. And she told me everyone liked it and asked for something a bit different, so...

Well I started out with just boring ones:


but I didn't like them because they were too boring, so, ta da! I learnt how to make an animated GIF today. Sure, I could've been cleaning the house, or catching up on my backlog of emails screaming "BETA ME!"

But now I have a new skill, with which I can demonstrate my obsession with Harry Potter :P

(Not that I'm a particular Snape fan myself, you understand. Nor a teacher. But it's the principle of the thing.)